Take my advice: the best way to start your day is with a good belly laugh. This puts you in a good mood and sets the standard for the rest of the day. I got one this morning and I have to thank the lawyer of NFL running back Larry Johnson. Johnson, who plays for the Kansas City Chiefs, was recently suspended for two weeks for using the word “faggot” when telling some reporters to leave the room. Johnson is appealing the suspension and the defense if absolutely priceless (from TMZ):
“We know the N-word is unacceptable, that’s not disputable — but f*g? I’m learning that there’s a segment of our society that finds it offensive and that it should not be used. I didn’t realize that, but I do know now…“
Okay, obviously he’s lying. What so funny is that he’s playing dumb and he has to know that we know he’s playing dumb, but he’s hoping that he’ll be able to play dumb better than Laurence Oliver in his prime and thus get the suspension repealed. Just hearing this on the radio this morning almost made me crash. A local sports jock called it the George Costanza defense:
Now, I’m a free speech absolutist, which is why I didn’t use asterisks when writing the word “faggot”. The only censorship on this site is on material that might lead to nasty emails from my mother. Be that as it may, Johnson needs to be suspended not for using a slur but for being perhaps the dumbest player in the league.