I love the website Big Hollywood, but sometimes reading it makes me weep for all of mankind. No, that’s hacky. It’s more like it makes me want to smack mankind around while shouting “you made me do this!”
Anyway, some fun headlines:
1) Actor Beau Bridges speaks out for stricter gun control laws. What a novel idea! Has anyone else thought of this? I mean, the genius of it. Think of what crime would be like if we had only thought of this 50 years ago after the Kennedy assassinations. Whaaaat? You mean we already have enacted countless gun control laws? Criminals are still getting weapons while law-abiding citizens have to wait 3 to 10 days to get their guns? What the hell happened?
2) Lady Gaga toasts Tebow on Twitter. Just how big is Tim Tebow right now? He’s so big that Lady Gaga, the queen of corporate-generated pop culture feels the need to step into his spotlight. Kind of the Twitter equivalent of Ariana Huffington knocking over Schwarzenegger’s mic stands. John Lennon said the Beatles were bigger than Jesus and he may have been right at the time. Tebow could make a similar claim but he isn’t that type of guy.
3) Report: Beyonce, Jay-Z Baby Security Prevents Man From Seeing Newborns in Hospital. Not much to say here really. The rich and powerful get what they want and the rest of us can suck it. Of course, the Hollywood elites will always speak out against corporate greed and for the little guy, as long as they don’t have to consort with the little guy or think about the fact that some big smelly truck driver who voted for Bush twice is a vital part of making sure their foie gras is on their dinner table. I have a fantasy where I get to sit in a fancy restaurant with someone like Barbra Streisand and tell her all about the unclean steps that lead to her meal and how “going green” will make it that much harder for her duck a l’orange to keep that level of succulence. What else do we have if not dreams?
4) Snoop Dogg busted for marijuana possession. Also from the news desk, Tim Tebow loves Jesus.
5) Paging Steve Guttenberg: ‘Police Academy’ reboot in the works. I repeat: “You made me do this!”